A theme that regularly comes up in my coaching conversations with financial planners is over-preparing for client meetings.

What does over-preparing mean?

It is going beyond being appropriately prepared and trying to predict every possible question, issue, or direction the meeting could take.

On the surface, this seems entirely sensible.

You want to do an excellent job. You want the client to have a wonderful experience. You don’t want to be caught out.

So surely the more prepared you are, the better?

Not necessarily.

What drives over-preparing?

I speak from experience here because I used to be an Olympic-standard over-preparer myself.

Looking back, I can see that much of it came from a desire to feel in control.

Uncertainty felt uncomfortable.

Preparation gave me the reassurance that I could handle whatever came up.

And this points to an important distinction.

Sometimes over-preparing isn’t about preparing for the client. It’s about preparing ourselves to feel safe.

We are trying to remove uncertainty before we enter the room.

The problem is that no amount of preparation can do that.

I remember being on a programme with psychologist Dr George Pransky when he said something that has stayed with me ever since:

“Life is not predictable enough to lend itself to the idea of control.”

You simply cannot predict everything a client might say, ask, think or feel.

And nor would you want to.

What might over-preparing cost you?

There is another, less obvious downside.

Over-preparing can close possibilities.

You enter the meeting with a picture in your mind of where the conversation needs to go, what needs to be covered and what a successful meeting should look like.

Without realising it, you can then start steering the client towards the meeting you prepared for.

You may still listen, ask good questions, and conduct a productive meeting.

But something can be lost.

For instance, curiosity, spontaneity, and fresh thinking.

An unexpected comment that takes the conversation somewhere far more valuable.

The pause that gives the client space to say what is really on their mind.

The question you could never have prepared in advance because it only occurs to you after deeply listening to what the client has just said.

This is the paradox.

The more tightly we try to control a conversation, the less room there is for something new to appear.

Finding your sweet spot

I am certainly not suggesting that you turn up to client meetings unprepared.

That would be unprofessional.

The opportunity is to discover the difference between being prepared and needing to feel prepared.

They are not the same thing.

Appropriate preparation gives you the information and context you need.

Over-preparation is often an attempt to guarantee what happens next.

And perhaps there is another way.

Prepare well and know what genuinely needs to be covered.

Then let go of needing to know exactly how the meeting will unfold.

Trust in your ability to respond.

Trust in your curiosity.

And most importantly, trust that you don’t need to have every answer ready before the client has even asked the question.

The human mind is remarkably responsive when it isn’t overloaded with trying to predict what happens next.

Often, your most useful question won’t come from your preparation.

It will occur to you in the moment.

Your most valuable insight may be something you hadn’t thought of beforehand.

And the most important part of the meeting may turn out to be something that wasn’t on the agenda at all.

Try an experiment

Before your next client meeting, notice how you prepare.

Ask yourself:

What preparation is genuinely necessary for me to serve this client well?

And then notice when you cross the line from useful preparation into trying to eliminate uncertainty.

Be willing to stop there.

Go into the meeting appropriately prepared, but without trying to mentally rehearse every possibility.

Then give the client your full attention and see what happens.

You may discover something surprising.

Being at your best in a client meeting may depend less on having everything worked out beforehand, and more on trusting yourself when you don’t.

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