25th November 2020

Cod or haddock mate?

Over the seemingly endless months of lockdown, I have become increasingly aware of virtue signalling adverts. 

Interestingly, lenders seem to be on a roll in this genre extoling their TCF credentials. An advertorial I read today headlines with, “You’re not alone”. 

I must share it with you.  I have not named the bank, I can let you the reader figure that one out. When reading this, remember that most if not all bank support services are working in a call centre, or a relocation to working from home. Bank response times are not great during the Covid crisis

 It reads as follows:

Employees have been keeping in touch with customers throughout the pandemic with a dedicated wellbeing line for the over-70s.

Branch employees have made more than 400,000 outreach calls to local vulnerable customers so they hear a familiar voice, giving people someone to talk to at a time where there may be limited physical and social contact - and it’s not just about helping with their banking.

Some have said the people calling have often been the first they've spoken to in weeks.

Employees have been advising where a customer’s nearest supermarket is and some have even delivered milk and groceries to those unable to or worried about going out.

One branch employee had an 81-year-old customer who had been at home for seven weeks and was missing his weekly fish and chips.

They rang his local fish and chip shop which said it was doing a lot of deliveries for older customers and a meal was arranged by lunchtime.

The customer said: "You have really made my day today.”

But there have also been more serious situations where this service has really proved its worth.

While making one of her wellbeing calls, Emma from a branch in the Manchester and Merseyside region spoke to a gentleman who lived alone and was having trouble breathing.

She called an ambulance and he was rushed into hospital.

Emma checked up on him and he returned home a couple of nights later with a supply of oxygen. Thanks to Emma, he's now safe and sound.

The elderly customers alluded to, used to pop into the bank, when they had a presence, in almost every town. They knew the manager, he or she knew them and their account status. 

Has anyone ever had a call from their bank to ask how well they are, lonely, hungry? I have not.

Firstly, for a normal human being, even one over 70, it would take minutes at best to get through their ID process and if I were getting such a call, I would be very worried it was a bank. Especially with the offer of all the above add on services

I would think that bank customers are more likely to get a call because they are in arrears with a loan, mortgage or have blown through their overdraft limit, not if they are lonely, hungry or (that cardinal sin in a Covid world) being over 70, shielding and with underlying health conditions.

Feeling lonely? Hungry? Having a heart attack? Cod or Haddock? 

If this is true, I think that this bank, any bank in fact thinking of going down this route should give a serious thought instead to their small business customers, thousands have been ignored by Rishi’s largesse. They are really suffering and would love to hear from you how you can help protect them from ruin.

Memo to the banks, stick to the day job, stop selling inappropriate products that nobody needs and leave the old folks alone. 

As that great and often quoted banker Gordon Gekko said, “if you need a friend get a dog” and definitely not a dog whistle call from your bank.

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